I've got a theory

So it turns out I may have misspoke when I wrapped things up, this week saw a little more archaeology for me (well a lot of it in a short amount of time). I got called to help on a CRM gig up here in Wisconsin, which I'll be using to tell stories for the next few days I imagine.

However, before all that I'd like to tell you a little story, well maybe it's an anecdote.

Many people, upon finding out they're talking with an archaeologist, get interested and share their stories and experiences (often in the realm of "my grandpa found XYZ on his farm back on the day"). It is what it is, and I have no complaints about it.

However.

When you hear the phrase "I have a theory" escape their lips there are only two possibilities.

Possibility 1:

Be ready to be impressed, a truism is coming.

Possibility 2:

Be ready to swallow your tongue, the batshit insane is coming.

Yesterday, it was the second option that awaited me. So three of us (Katie, Seth, and I) stayed late at the local bar before heading home (we'd been excavating right out front there), and rather enjoyed ourselves. Driving through the town we were staying at (some 15 miles north) we decided to stop for some dinner. It all went well, the food was good enough, and we were ready to head out when our checks came and the waitress asked us if we were working on the highways project (we were covered in dirt still). It's an area of small towns, so everyone knows what's going on (even things we aren't allowed to talk about). She pinned us in conversation for what had to have been an hour, we couldn't leave...she had our checks! And she talked on and on...about how she was personal friends with Stephen Hawking, the great times she had at Star Trek conventions, etc. etc. She was a little braggy on those points, but still at the edge of toleration.

But, she has a theory.

We're all star seed. Aliens were responsible for all the things that were done in the past (pyramids, Rome, etc etc.) in her words "something had to be the spark of civilization," and something about how god had to have a backup plan so there have to be aliens out there (not sure what that really had to do with star seed). To be honest I don't remember all the examples and proof she had because I was looking very intently at the medical tape on my thumb and twitching, trying not to scream. I nodded a couple of times just wanting her to go. away. Seth at one point had had enough and he finally said something to the effect of "that kind of thinking just doesn't do service to how smart people are, and that they couldn't do those things." Anyhow, that didn't have much of an effect other than to slightly steer the conversation back towards racist anecdote this, Jews that, and on...and on...and on.

I wish I had a theory that people would get so excited about...you know, only uhm. True?

Fin

So, I'm back in Milwaukee after another more or less successful summer. I gathered (nearly) all the samples that I needed, there was one site however that just would not give up the goods. The site's subsoil wasn't clay (it was sand) and the surrounding area is so urbanized that it's hard to find tributary creeks that 1) exist and 2) aren't lined with concrete. I managed to get a few samples, but they're from the furthest reaches of my limit, so not likely to be of much use. Grr.

Oh, I realized I left out an important aspect of my summer, one that was reflected in "Tick Watch 09" but not illustrated here.

You may recall that I was assaulted by spiders last summer (I believe my field journal reflected my incapacitated nature due to the great spider assault of 08 or something). Well, those spiders apparently migrated after the incident (small wonder, I had disturbed their home). They moved to the woods in [redacted] County, just across from the [redacted] site, a little ways up the [redacted] creek. Hmm, that's a lot of [redacted]. It's still a top secret location, and I'm not really in a position to give away much in the way of details, but I encountered a very helpful landowner and I may be back out in the field briefly this fall to assist him at his property. Anyhow, back to [redacted]. I was tramping through the woods when I discovered all 50 of those goddamn spiders from last year. Rather, I discovered them with my body by flailing through their web, and saw them a few minutes later all over me.

Do you remember the movie Jumanji? Well, you may remember that at one point near the climax the group of intrepid heroes are attacked by cat sized spiders. They looked something like this:

Well, while not the same size, there were about a dozen spiders that looked exactly like this clinging to my body. I think I got away with only a bite or two, but between all the mosquito bites I got in Houston and the Poison Ivy marring my alabaster body it's hard to tell which damage can be attributed to which assailant.

Needless to say, covered with those spiders there was some 12 year old girl-like squealing, some flailing, and shuddering. In fact, I've got the heebie jeebies now just recalling it. I think I'll let this one go for now...

MIA

So I've been a little MIA, but these things happen.

So my summer is nearly completed, my collections (and funds) are about finished. Hopefully the former outlasts the latter, but I wouldn't hold my breath. There hasn't been anything terribly exciting to discuss (at least that I can discuss here. Uh-oh, that sounds like a teaser!). One more day of hard collecting ought to do it, and then I can be home (maybe even before the weekend, wouldn't that be nice?). It all depends on those last little details (returning equipment, double and triple checking coordinates, etc). It's been a productive summer, but a long one and I really am ready to go home...wherever that is...

I guess I'll put up my final tally on the Tick Watch 09. I managed to stumble into some really nasty poison ivy, and get it between my fingers...which just irritates it more and more and more. It's pretty icky to look at and infuriating to have.